Did you see this?

OhMyGodYouGuys
Originally uploaded by AdiaMichelle

Yeah.

Under my laundry bag. In my room.

Dead, but no less frightening.

I've learned my lesson: new apartment in an old building? Seal that puppy up tighter than...well, really tight. Caulk and duct tape, my friends. Caulk and duct tape.

***

I think my friend for whom I'm house-sitting has new upstairs neighbors. These people are not quiet. They like to drop things. And they have a small child, who I don't hear scream or cry, but I hear lots of thuds and bangs. It's tiring. I left a Post-It on their door asking them if they were going to be done making noise soon. (I tried knocking, but they didn't answer.) I also imagined up a letter to send them. Wanna read my imaginary letter that I might possibly send?

Dear Upstairs Person(s):

Hi. I'm house-sitting for your downstairs neighbor. Over the last week, I've made a list in my head of all the things you could possibly be doing up there that would produce such, "Oh my gosh someone's throwing a body around" sounds, and thought I'd share them with you:

1. Someone is actually throwing a body around
2. Someone is throwing a *dead* body around
3. Judo with sacks of rocks as sparring partners
4. Trust falls without a partner (totally stole that from another blog)
5. Bear wrestling
6. Shoe-dropping fetish party
7. Using cupboard doors to open walnuts
8. Practicing your One-Legged Riverdance audition
9. Stamping out a roach infestation with platform clogs
10. Pressing grapes for wine. On the floor. With boots on. One grape at a time.

You certainly are one busy little bee up there, as these random thuds and bangs never seem to cease. So, dear temporary neighbor, if it's not too much trouble, please remember that you have neighbors who can become somewhat alarmed by noises that sound like bodies are falling, and going about one's day a Nervous Nancy, jumping at such loud noises (even while wearing ear plugs) is no way to live.

Thanks, and enjoy the cookies! I was going to leave cookies if I wrote the note and left it.

I chickened out, and instead I just went up there after a particularly distressing bang (it's 10:00! and no, I don't care that it's Saturday, quiet hours still apply). They reacted as most people do when you ask them to stop being so loud, "Uh, yeah. Sure."

*sigh*

I'm requesting a top floor apartment for Korea.