*sigh*

I actually have a lot to write about for once, but I have four shows tomorrow, my day should start at 7 am, so I need to go to bed now. Sorry.

It's Buns Day, according to Iceland. Check this out:

"Iceland celebrates two holidays in February that seem to revolve simply around the consumption of delicious foods with guiltless abandonment. Two days before Lent is known as Bolludagur or "Buns Day." Homes, restaurants and particular bakeries, overflow with delicately made cream puffs or "buns." These "buns" come in all different shapes and sizes, filled with cream, jam, and sometimes drizzled in chocolate. Children especially love Bun Day because they get to wake up early and try to catch their parents still in bed. If they do, they "beat" them out of bed with their individually made Bolluvondur or "Bun Wands," which are colorfully decorated with strips of paper and gleaming ribbon. The parents are then obligated to give their children one cream puff for every "blow" received."

That's awesome.

Union.

I got my Equity card today. In some ways it felt a little anticlimactic, but at the same time, I can't help but smile. I've made a significant step in my career.

I spent quite a bit of time with Equity actors the summer after I graduated from college, and it was my first intimate experience with professional theatre. There were some serious divas there, but most of the people I worked with as company manager (aka Glorified Babysitter) were wonderful, professional people. (Back story, I was Assistant Company Manager and housed with all but a few of the Equity actors. The Company Manager lived in the multi-room house in Naragansett, RI while I was in Charlestown in my own room in a converted motel. I'll tell that story another day, I promise.) They warned me that eventually one might become jaded by the disappointments of being a professional actor, but despite what they said, their actions spoke a lot louder. They were really good at what they did, and in spite of the fact that it frustrated them to no end sometimes, they were still doing it. And they were Union. And that's when I knew that if I started working as an actor, I wanted to eventually be Equity.

And now, five years later, I am. It's going to be difficult - if I stay here - to get Equity work. There aren't many theatres here that are willing to hire Equity performers, so sometimes I'll loose a role to someone non-Equity, even if I may be as good or better for it. I was annoyed by that at first, but then I realized that that obstacle could only push me to be a better businessperson. I need to make my job search national instead of just local. I need to be more business savvy. I need to make sure my audition materials are never rusty. I need to take care of myself. Those are all positive things.

I'm so thankful that I haven't had to give up. My parents have been instrumental in that they've supported me emotionally (and financially ;)) over the last five years and I'm not sure I'd be here without them. (This is starting to sound like an Oscars speech. Ah well: practice makes perfect.)

So...yeah. I got my Equity card.

Haha: Happy Inconvenience Yourself Day! And for my fam: Happy St. Lucian Independence Day.

Tuesday.

I'm living out of boxes and suitcases. It stinks, but there's just nowhere to put anything at the moment.

I have the day off today! I was going to go to ballet, but didn't make it out of bed.

Still need to finish cleaning my old apartment. Going over today.

Had a callback last night. It was a lot of fun, but it wore me out. Lots of physical work, intense movement.

Need to eat something now.

Happy Single-tasking Day! Concentrate on one thing and do it well.

I hate February.

Some scientist somewhere said that January 24th is the most depressing day of the year. I have no idea what or who he was measuring to arrive at that conclusion, but I strongly disagree. I think the entire month of February is horrible. Mostly because nothing ever happens for me in February. I start to get really frustrated with my career come February. The phone rarely rings, and I usually don't have a show. It sucks.

In other news, I moved yesterday. It was one of the coldest days we've had since December. And if I hadn't had my parents to help me move I would have been very upset. Everyone I asked to help was either busy, sick, or decided at the last minute to just drop off the face of the earth. I think I'll hire movers next time.

Happy Copernicus' Birthday.

I've cut refined sugar out of my diet. Eek.

Just got back from the second of two readings of Miss Evers Boys produced by the Guthrie in conjunction with the University of Minnesota. For anyone unfamiliar with the play, it deals with a study performed on black men infected with syphilis in the south from the 40s to the 70s. It's essentially a look at medical ethics in this country and how a disenfranchised population was exploited for supposed medical research. The play focuses on a nurse named Miss Evers and four of her patients. The men were never educated as to what exactly they had, and after a period of treatment (arsenic and mercury at the time), they were denied and treatment and not told that they were receiving a placebo instead. And when penicillin was available, the doctors in charge did not allow their study subjects to receive it. The government eventually apologized and acknowledged their culpability, but not until 1997.

My role in the reading was reading the stage directions. Not exactly acting, but it was still fun to learn about the incident and to watch others practicing their craft. We went down to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester last night, and this morning it was a class of med students at the U.

And now, I need to continue packing.

Happy Lithuanian Independence Day!

I didn't wear red today.

I knew I wouldn't really be celebrating this holiday. Not because I believe that it's only a commercial gimmick to sell cards and candy, because I don't believe that. I think Valentine's Day can be a day to celebrate all kinds of love, not just the romantic kind. I'm just too busy packing and doing all the stuff one has to do to move oneself from one place to another, going to rehearsal, going to the orthodontist, and procrastinating on various other projects to worry about what I'm doing for Valentine's Day.

So go do something fun and think of me.

Happy Ferris Wheel Day!

I don't know what today's holiday is because they've moved on to next week already.

I thought I'd made another update after Wednesday's audition debacle. (Ok, so it wasn't a debacle as I realized afterward that I was too young for the roles they were casting. But whatever.) I must have thought about doing an entry and maybe even opened the browser window, but just never did it. Ah well.

I've had two much more successful auditions since Wednesday night, the kind of auditions in which I leave feeling as though I did the best I could, and even if I don't get cast it won't be because they thought I sucked. I am hoping, however, that I do get cast. I can't deny it.

It's laundry day, and then I have some tapping and possibly visiting to do. So good evening!

That's what...three in less than two weeks? Shall we try for five?

Tonight I had my first, "Ok, thank you! Nice to meet you." Those words are very nice to hear, polite. In ordinary circumstances one would feel, mm...benign about hearing "Ok, thank you!" In the middle of an audition, those words are unpleasant, to say the least. I got to experience them firsthand tonight.

I prepared a monologue and two songs because they asked for that. I spent quite some time searching for appropriate things to sing, as - lately - I don't really consider myself a singer. I'm an actor who can carry a tune. I was worried about my voice because I'd had to make up for a malfunctioning microphone earlier in the day by pushing my voice more than usual. My voice was tired, I was tired.

Nonetheless, I got to the audition site, did a quick shake out in the bathroom and was feeling better. I went in to the audition room, sang my first song, it went better than I thought, we chatted a bit, then they said, "Ok, thank you! Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming out." We shook hands, and I collected my music and left the room. If anyone had looked closely at my face they would have thought that I had gas: my mouth was doing funny things and so were my eyes. I wanted to appear calm in the face of rejection, and I did very well until I got in my car.

I'm not sure I can live somewhere where I don't have a car to cry in.

An actor can never know what the reasons are for his or her not getting the role. There are many, many reasons, and usually a director can know within a few minutes whether or not the person standing before them is someone they want to see more of. And I can only say with any confidence that I wasn't right for what they were doing, and so they decided not to waste my time. That was nice of them.

I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to cut singing out of my billable skills or not, and if I'm going to stop going to auditioning for musicals. It's great to be able to audition for as much as possible, but I don't know that it's getting me anywhere. Singing may fall under the heading of "Things I'll Do Only If I Must."

PS-I don't really feel like celebrating anything today.

"Do something." "I don't wanna." "Ok. Eat some pasta at 11 pm." "Ok."

My body and I sometimes have conversations like the one above.

Today was Ballet Day. I did some tendues in celebration. But no, I didn't go to class. Couldn't go because I had a shoot this morning, then an audition, then I had to reserve a truck for my move, then I had to find music for my audition tomorrow, and then after all that activity I just had to take a nap, and then it was time for American Idol, and then it was time to mess around on the computer, and then I made some pasta and looked at some more websites, and now I guess it's time for bed. I do have to work tomorrow, after all. Sometimes I forget.

Get up.

I felt like I got knocked down quite a few pegs last week. A couple disappointments right on top of each other. Then I realized that it was an opportune time to turn failure into success. I got some good advice and got back up. There's no reason to stay on the ground. Besides, it's all kind of gross and dirty down there. Not a place I want to stay.

I have three auditions and one shoot this week. I'd call that a nice turn around.

The Super Bowl commercials were boring this year. Try harder, advertising companies!

Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake on Friday night. I'm excited. I saw the commercial for the tour a few months ago and I screamed, "That's the costume he was wearing at the end of Billy Elliot! I must see that show." So I am going. However, I have an extra ticket. Someone expressed interest in going, then they couldn't. Naughty. Now I have to try to unload it on someone.

The People's Temple is over. I think I'll still have the nagging feeling around 7 pm on weekdays that I should be calling someone; that someone needs to know where I am.

It's Pay a Compliment Day, so you? All my readers? All five of you? You're wonderful.
And for my sister, it's Waitangi Day in New Zealand.

Am I doing as much as I can?

I had a meeting today with a fellow actor and I got to pick his brain on getting work - specifically film work - without moving to one coast or the other. It was encouraging, and a little bit of the kick in the pants that I needed.

I've been lazy lately. I've let my audition skills lapse because I haven't had to do that much auditioning. I haven't been proactive in going out and making sure my name stays in the minds of people who can give me work. I haven't been researching what I can do to make the "business of me" more effective. I haven't been putting in the time that it takes to produce more than the minimum.

So today, I got the opportunity to peek into someone else's world and get some ideas about what I need to do. I'm excited and ready.

Dude, I have missed so many holidays. Monday was Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. How could I have missed that? I love bubble wrap in all its forms. I'll just have to go out and find some bubble wrap to pop and celebrate belatedly. Wednesday was Bubble Gum Day, Freedom Day, and Hula in the Coola Day (I have no idea what that means). Yesterday was African-American Coaches Day, Hedgehog Day (take that, Groundhogs!), and Self-Renewal Day. I'm obviously celebrating that last one today. And today was Norman Rockwell's Birthday. Hooray!