Babbling

It’s taking forever and a day for Blogger to load the new post page, so I’m just going to work in Word. Besides, if Blogger is acting funky and slow there’s a good chance that I’d lose my post in some weird Internet signal fart.

I’m not feeling joyful about writing lately. I’m having a hard time producing anything. And that may very well be because I don’t have the luxury of writing whenever and whatever I please. I actually have to produce something that will be rehearsed by actual bodies in a month then seen by actual people in three months. And a paralyzing fear just punched me in the chest. Basically, I need to be done writing by the end of May, because that’s when the show needs to have a title and description for the Fringe Fest programs. Mercy me I don’t know why I decided to do this.

Ok. I wanted to do a show because I wanted to believe that I could produce something on my own without waiting for someone else to hire me, and the Fringe is a great way to get my feet wet. I know I shouldn’t be thinking about failure before I’ve even started, but I can’t help it. I want to do a show for the sake of doing a show, but I also want it to be good. And if it’s not good people will see it and pretend that it is good or they’ll say “That was interesting” and then run away before I can question them any further so they don’t have to lie and say they liked it. See? I shouldn’t be thinking about these things yet.

I have ideas, but I’m getting much more hesitant about sharing them with others. Others have asked good questions, but at the completely wrong time, and those questions have caused me to doubt myself and my creative abilities, something that one cannot do in the initial stages of creation lest one dissolve into a paralyzed mess. So I need to regroup and start over. The silver lining to the untimely questions was that I thought a little deeper about what it was that I wanted to communicate and have more solid ideas.

On top of all that goodness I have about four different job obligations right now and while they’re not your standard eight hour gig, most of my day is eaten up by the activity, and the driving, and the eating of meals in between. I took a nap today that was only supposed to be 40 minutes. It ended up being two hours long. The garage still needs to be cleaned out for the garage sale (you all who think garages are a myth would call it a “yard sale”). I’m trying to make time to exercise every day. I didn’t on Monday or today. I ate lots of cookies.

My high school friend had a baby last night. I saw her today. She’s a feisty little thing. Most hours-old babies just lay there and sleep as they get passed around. She wiggled and screamed and looked at me. She’s adorable.

I’m just babbling now, so it’s time for bed. Happy Birthday Ella Grace!

It's allergy time

I don't have really terrible allergies, but I get a sneezy, runny nose every now and then. It's not bad enough to take medication, but it's just annoying enough to need tissue nearby.

On a peppier note, the weather here is fantastic! I should be out in it, but I'm hiding in my room from the professional organizer my mother hired. I haven't seen her, I've only heard her voice as she stalked past my room searching for that which she could organize. I must hole myself up in here (along with my coward guadian: the dog) and protect my belongings from being thrown in the trash or given away. They may be taking up space I don't have, but they will not be sacrificed to the trash collector gods of BFI, Inc!

Ahem. Sorry about that. Fell asleep watching the Dune miniseries on SciFi Channel last night. I think some of the language got stuck in my head.

I should get going and exercise or something. I want to get on the elliptical, but I'm really not ready for visitors and I don't like meeting people when I'm not ready for visitors. Suppose I could clean my room... Nah.

PS-I lost my envelope of money last night outside the Digigraphics building. I highly doubt the money is still in it, but maybe some kind soul turned it in at the office.

Still need to clean my room

I love sunny days. I get so much done! Went to the dentist, the eye doctor, got my license changed, and exercised. Woo!

Now I just need to get on that "finding a job" thing.

Suddenly Spring

It was, like, 35 last Thursday. Today it was 70 something and sunny. Spring pounced on Minnesota in the most delicious way.

I feel joyful today for the first time in a while. I read through a Sark book my dear friend Annie gave me for Christmas. It had gotten packed away when I moved and I just dug it out again today. That woman really has a gift, because I think I smiled 99% of the time I was reading, and often I laughed out loud. And now I feel wonderful and inspired and ready for anything. I highly recommend it.

I had the pleasure of participating in Five Fifths of Casablanca, an annual fundraiser for the Minnesota Fringe Festival. Tru Ruts was invited to perform the first fifth, and the female half of that company is the lead in Venus. We had about 5 hours or so of rehearsal, a half hour tech and then bam! we were on. I'll admit that I was scared. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but we were all talented people and we all brought our best, and subsequently the audience went wild. They loved us. That was a great feeling, and it actually got me excited for my Fringe show. I can't wait to start working on it.

Now I must go alter Jonathan's pants. Yay new sewing machine!

Wasted

I should have stayed home this morning. I wasted $15 driving from the suburbs to Minneapolis and back and paying for parking - expensive parking - in downtown Minneapolis just to sit on my butt for the majority of ballet class because my head wasn't in it and I wasn't even trying so nothing was working and now I'm just mad at myself for not getting out of bed sooner and now I only have two hours to do things around the house before I have to leave again.

*sigh*

Need to drink more water.

Did some training today for a new gig. It was great, but kind of exhausting. I'm more excited about the process and the prospect of new challenges, though.

There are so many decisions one must make on a daily basis. I can't keep track of all of mine. Only if they jump up and bite me on the nose do I notice them and go, "Oh crap! That's right I have to do that!" I need more organization. I think it would help if I had more places to put things. Everything that didn't go in storage is sitting in piles around me and half the time I can't look at it or think about it because it makes my brain go numb.

Eh, now I'm just rambling. Good night.

It's Thank You, School Librarian Day. I like that one. Did you know that when I toured my show to my old middle school the librarian remembered me? I spent a lot of time in my middle school library. I think I was trying to get away from my classmates. Middle school was pretty horrible after sixth grade.

Time to post some press

Production skillfully tells strange (but true) story
BY RENEE VALOIS
Special to the Pioneer Press

Not too many playwrights would center a play on a woman's oversized derriere, but Suzan-Lori Parks isn't shy about tackling vulgar topics. Then again, the real-life story of Saartje Baartman is so outrageous it lends itself to drama.

Director Wendy Knox and Frank Theatre force the audience into the role of the voyeurs who once made Baartman's life tragic. But the show actually opens with the proclamation that the "Hottentot Venus is dead," and although the management is sorry, "there will be no show tonight." So the play begins at the end with a proclamation of its nonexistence. Things get stranger from there.

In this fictionalized version of Baartman's life, she is lured into leaving Africa for England in 1810 with promises that she'll "make a mint" as a dancer. Instead, she ends up in a traveling sideshow with other "freaks" because people will pay to see her unusually large rear end, which was considered normal for a "Hottentot" (Dutch colonial slang for her race that refers to the clicking sounds prevalent in their language). People gawk at her, laugh at her and pay extra to prod her bare butt. It's disturbing to watch.

Yet when brought before a court and asked whether she is being forced to display herself, Hottentot Venus claims she is not, and wants to continue until she has made the money she was promised. Sha Cage gives Venus pathos and naiveté as well as intelligence and strength, conveying the complexity of her character.

In Parks' version, Venus also falls in love with a rich doctor who becomes her lover, played convincingly by Patrick Bailey. The different ways in which cultures view morality, honor, sex and race all conjoin to seal her tragic fate.

Maria Asp is terrifically horrible as a leeringly nasty spoiler in various roles throughout. She always enters at just the right moment to make Venus' life darker, whether she is the deceitful liar who brings Venus to England or the abusive Mother-Showman who makes a fortune displaying Venus while paying her a pittance.

Kathy Kohl's costumes — including the artificial naked behind of Venus — are an asset to the production, as is Joel Sass' wild, sideshow-flavored set, which includes a dog mummy and a fake unicorn head.

While the production is finely honed, Parks' script has flaws. There is a lot of line repetition, perhaps meant to recall an ancient Greek chorus. Although different inflections can expose new layers of meaning, the repetition still becomes tiresome.

Parks also includes a long dissertation on the history of chocolate, and lots of precise bodily measurements that are less than scintillating. Although the endless measurements of the doctors succeed in conveying Venus' weariness with the scientific study, Parks also risks boring the audience.

"Venus" is a bizarre and disturbing story of a celebrity from the 19th century who remains an object of fascination in the 21st century. Knox gives it the Frank treatment it deserves.

Pioneer Press

Sleepy now

I went to see Thirst Theatre tonight. For the linkagely challenged, Thirst is a weekly theatre event that takes place on the upper floors in a restaurant called Joe's Garage. There were five plays tonight and they take place all around the audience. It's really an ingenious concept and a lot of fun to watch. It's also great to know that it exists because all the performers in it are Equity members - and have to be - so it's good to see someone creating work for union folk in this town. Maybe someday I'll get in there.