"So that's Bryant Park. What's up, Fashion Week? Why do so many people spit here? That's nasty, dude. I really don't want to hear you horking up the contents of your throat and sinuses. This looks like an expensive part of town. Oh, hey, I've called that hotel and they've called us, too. Nifty. I should go in and say hi. NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY OMG. Who cares about Jack Kerouac: look at the design on that ceiling! No, I do not want to give money to the homeless. Yes, I'm a cold, cold woman who doesn't have any money, either. I like this song. Man, I do NOT want to go back to work. Hey, it's not so bad here at work. I think they missed me. Heh. Was that Bob Costas? That
was Bob Costas. Man, he is tiny! Like, REALLY tiny. So Ebony will be here, eh? Which one, I wonder? Please be kind to me, temp agency. I need a job. AUDITIONING EVERY DAY THIS WEEK OMG. I feel like a real actor! This new apartment is sweet. Hopefully I'll get to stay. Man, he's cute. I doubt he'll ask me out, though. I despise working on the floor. Singing audition = HATE. Those Equity monitors are great folks. I should bring them cookies. Strict diet rules have definitely flown out the window at a rapid velocity: mmmmmm...fish and chips! Oh, hello there white bread! You are crusty and soft and tasty! What's that, cranberry oatmeal scone with melted sugar on top? You'd like me to eat you like it's my job? I believe I am qualified for that task. Midtown = HATE. Free Broadway tix? Is that where my $454 worth of dues went? Sweet! I'll take it. Hey! Hire me! I am sooooo smart and talented and you won't regret it I promise! How is it that you can, in good conscience, pay an adult person a wage that does not allow them to actually live? Winter must die. Thank you for lunch and presents, Father-of-mine! I love my red tights. These dancer chicks are seriously skinny. She's wearing those hotpants-style dance shorts and NOTHING is jiggling. She sucks. And she's 12. Aisha's coming! All I want to do is eat. What's that, 100% cacao Ghirardelli chocolate bar dipped in honey? You were made for my consumption and mine alone? Why, thank you! That building is GORGEOUS. I wish I could live there. No more 1 trains? UGH. FINE. I'll walk to 72nd. But I'm just letting you know now that you SUCK, MTA. Just kidding. You're really awesome, actually. You keep this city from falling apart at the seams. These shoes were a mistake. Saturday already? Rockin'. Today I do nothing productive. Zzzzzzz..."
Labels: narcissism, New Yahwk New Yahwk, the biz, you can stop talking about yourself now