Pomplamoose covers "Nature Boy"

Just because I like it.

So, some good stuff happening.

The Good Stuff That's Happening:

1. Finally got to visit my sister at her new pad upstate. It's beautiful. She has exquisite decorating taste. And I feel my bowels clench when I think that she pays half what I do for at least four times the space. Ah, c'est la vie, non?

2. There is, at least, the possibility of plans, things that might happen in a Future Time. If they don't happen, I have no idea What Comes Next, but for now, there is the possibility of plans.

3. Some things that I've done in the past (some of them a long time ago), are popping up on the web. Most notably, FADE is on Amazon.com ready for your clicking fingers to purchase it. If you'd like to see the film, it will only cost you $10 of your hard-earned dollars! Check it out, kidlings. Also, I have a small cameo in a music video by a duo called Happy Ending. I run past a fence!

4. Due to FADE being on Amazon.com, I have another imdb.com entry. Guess it's time to put a picture and resume on there, huh?

The Stench of Doubt

Shark Cove
Originally uploaded by AdiaMichelle

Currently watching the "Wrapped Around Your Finger" video on YouTube. The last time I went on a Police binge, I noticed that the video was directed by some mysterious persons named Godley & Creme. Godley & Creme are a British pop duo who also directed a few music videos in their time.

Following the internet bunny trail, I came across a story about the making of the "Wrapped Up Around Your Finger" video. To paraphrase (and if the story is to be believed), it seems as though Godley & Creme - and Sting - were interested in making art and seeing where it went, rather than making a hit music video. At the end of the 12 hour shoot, the producers decided they were done. Sting and the directors didn't want to be done, and after some discussion, the producers and directors agreed on one more take. If you've watched the video - which I hope you have, by now - you know that Sting runs through the burning candles and knocks them over and makes a big mess and it's beautiful and shocking and something I only wish I could do.

I can only imagine the tension on the set before a compromise was made. The producers need to keep the artists happy, the artists aren't happy, the crew has no say and therefore says nothing, but everyone's cringing and waiting for the explosion. I'm glad that the "Wrapped Around Your Finger" shoot resolved the way it did, but that one, tiny moment of doubt can derail the spirit of the entire shoot.

I can remember a few shoots I did where I wasn't getting the feedback my neurotic actor self wanted, and I started to doubt. Even though my intellectual mind said, "Dude, they cast YOU. Out of all the people they auditioned, they cast YOU. What are you freaking out for?" But freak out I did, and I felt like the world's biggest disaster, and so I might have been. All Doubt had to do was whisper the suggestion, "Um, you might not actually be good enough," and the train was off the track and screaming down into the canyon, bursting into flames as it hit bottom. Was it all in my mind? Probably.

After pitching a fit this week, it hit me that the source of all that angst was partly due to giving in to doubt. I doubted that my life would ever be any different than it is now. I doubted that I could make money doing what I liked. I doubted that my life has a purpose. A very wise friend, in trying to pull me out of that dark cloud, said, "When you change the way you look at things, what you look at changes." The world looked different today, and I thank everyone who's spoken encouragement into my life in the midst of my tantrums for that turnaround.

I know that I won't always feel bad. I know that I won't always feel buoyant. I might throw a few more tantrums. (This growing up thing is hard.) But I know that nothing will wreck me faster than doubt. If one is moving confidently toward a goal, there can't be any space left for doubt. People often put that as "There's no room for doubt," but I think there definitely can be. It's up to the individual to make sure they're so filled up with the Goal, all the corners and crevices stuffed, like, a Muffin Top of Goal squeezing between shirt and pants, that there is no space left for Doubt to drift in. Doubt is like a waft of unwelcome cigarette smoke in your apartment. You can't see it, you can't lay ahold of it, but you can smell it, and it's seeping into your stuff and irritating the crap out of you, and the only way to get rid of it is to stop it from coming in.

So, go get filled up with Goal. I'm off to do the same.

Sting, Josh Groban, & Chris Botti

So beautiful.

This is what happens at brunch in NYC.

Nikaury and I are 12 seconds in.